


I kept my fears in a suitcase

by killerwhales



Series: song writing [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Angst, I love markhyuck, Light Angst, M/M, mild pining, this is purely self indulgent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-16
Updated: 2018-05-16
Packaged: 2019-05-07 16:25:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14674923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/killerwhales/pseuds/killerwhales
Summary: Donghyuck has nightmares, Mark comforts him.





	I kept my fears in a suitcase

 

Donghyuck has always been a sunshine boy. Lighting up the corners of the dorm, lifting moods, propping people up, the ‘happy virus’ of the whole group and they couldn’t imagine him any other way. He’s as important to the group as any of them and Mark’s pretty sure he wouldn’t  be able to make it without him. At least this is what he’s thinking as he walks home, returning from a late night recording session in the studio with Taeyong. 

 

Donghyuck has been on his mind a lot lately, and Mark suspects it’s because summer is coming. Summer is Donghyucks month, or month _ s _ and Mark’s pretty sure he falls in love with him  a little more every time summer rolls around. 

 

He lets himself into the dorm and since everyone was supposed to be asleep that just makes the scream he heard as soon as he’d taken off his shoes all the more electrifying, a half choked, stifled yell of the mortally terrified that has him running to the room that he shares with Donghyuck, almost before his mind can make the deduction that it was in fact Donghyuck who screamed.

 

He flings the door open, barely catching it before whacks the wall and wakes up the whole dorm, and sees Donghyuck, a completely rumpled mess, pillows on the floor, blankets almost there, huddled in the middle of his bed, crying in jagged, heaving, silent sobs

 

Mark has seen Donghyuck cry before. A practice doesn’t go right even though they’ve been trying all day, a sudden bout of homesickness, a mistake made during a performance all of these have brought the tears rushing to the surface.

 

But he’s never seen him cry like this, the silence of this particular anguish is new to him, because Donghyuck is always, always good at articulating his emotions, silence doesn’t know him, but here he can see the quiet pain written all over his face with none of the usual noise and he almost slides to the floor in shock.

 

Donghyucks terrified eyes snap him out of it though and in three strides and a minor leap, without even thinking he’s got the younger boy in his arms and Donghyuck is soaking the front of Mark’s shirt with his tears.

 

Mark holds him till the crying stops, and the breathless, heaving sobs subside. He sits there listening to him breathe, all the while wondering _ what, who, or how he could have been brought to this point? _ He goes to ask Donghyuck the questions that are bouncing like supersized rubber bouncy balls off the insides of his skull ( _ what was wrong, what happened, are you ok?) _ but the soft snuffling sounds of someone asleep from sheer exhaustion break his rampant train of thought and he realizes that Donghyuck is asleep in his arms, hands still clutching his shirt, tear stains on his cheeks.

  
  


Mark very nearly cries himself because Donghyuck looks so small and vulnerable in the moment. The shining sun that is Donghyuck diminished just enough to see the person behind the albeit cheerful glare. 

 

You wouldn’t know it but Donghyuck was the most sensitive of them all. His playful facade was just that, a facade, designed to deflect. You had to make an effort to really know who he was and since Mark had known him for years now, he knew that if he did what he wanted to do ( _ keep holding Donghyuck till they both fell asleep and woke up together _ ) Donghyuck would brush off his crying jag, the terror Mark had seen in his eyes would be masked by laughter and he wouldn’t get a complete answer from him until he, himself had had a chance to work out what the problem was. 

 

So he carefully extracts himself from the younger boy’s grasp, put the pillows back on the bed and covers him back up, and finally, collapsing into his own bed, where, in spite of his worries he’s almost immediately snatched away by sleep.

 

//

  
  


The next morning came much too early and by the time Mark was awake Donghyuck was already dressed and gone, his side of the room blaringly silent. The day was a blur of practice, schedules and more practice and he wasn’t able to talk to Donghyuck _ , just the two of them,  _ until they were all back at their dorm and practically falling asleep while doing their individual night routines. 

 

“Donghyuck?” He ventured right after they’d turned out their lights and were each in their respective beds.

 

“Hmm?” His sleepy voice answered Marks query.

 

“Are you ok? Yesterday night….” Marks voice is slightly shaky, he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t anxious about this whole thing. 

“Yeah..?” Donghyuck replied, and since his voice hadn’t changed from its near sleep monotone, Mark took that as a sign to go ahead.

 

“Is anything bothering you? Something going on that I should know about? Or Taeyong?”

 

He heard the rustle of the blankets as Donghyuck turned over to face him across the room, the light from the street lamp outside dimly illuminated the dips and curves of Donghyucks face and of course Mark forgets anything he ever knew for a split second because even though he’s seen Donghyuck day in and day out for years and liked him for almost that long he’s still struck by his beauty in moments like these and it quite frankly scrambles his brain.

Donghyuck hums, “........nothing really just regular stress,” Mark tunes back into reality with the realization that Donghyuck was talking to him.

 

“Sorry, what?”

“I said it was nothing really, just stress induced nightmares.”

 

“Are you sure?” he forces the worried tone out of his voice, afraid Donghyuck might think he is patronizing him, Donghyuck hates to be patronized. 

 

He heard the soft huff of air as Donghyuck frowned at him and huffed in annoyance.

“Yes,  _ mom, _ ” Donghyuck replies a trace of tired exasperation in his voice.

 

“Okay...” Mark conceded. “You know I’m here if you need me.” He continued and felt rather than saw Donghyucks sleepy smile. 

“I know… thanks.” 

 

“If you say so…... goodnight now.” Mark turns over onto his back and stares at the ceiling. The sound of even breathing from Donghyuck soon fills the room and despite the hundred or so questions Mark still has circling around his head, he too is soon asleep with the constellations of glow in the dark stars that Donghyuck had stuck to their ceiling one lazy day, spinning overhead. 

  
  


//

 

This pattern continues for a few days until Mark was sure that Donghyucks nightmare was a one time thing and he was ridiculous to worry so much. They’d kept busy, days of practicing blending together into nights of comfort, their schedules hectic like always but not overbearingly so for a change. 

 

Jaehyun got drunk one night and almost fell off the roof, Ten got a new ear piercing, Taeyong spent twenty minutes scolding Chenle and Jisung who’d let a major spoiler about their new comeback slip during a vlive and even though they’d managed to cover it up pretty well, he still was upset with them. All in all it was a normal week and Mark felt like he could relax again.

 

Reflecting back on this he realized that the calm always came before the storm and from now on he’d always be wary when it was calm, but past Mark hadn’t known that so past Mark was comfortably ensconced in the idea that the nightmare was a one time thing and he’d only hear Donghyuck scream when someone annoyed him or he needed to get someone’s attention.

Again, just like a week ago he came back to the dorm late, tired and sore from little rest and a lot of activity. He’d shucked off his shoes and hung up his coat, and was meandering towards the kitchen where the light was still on (probably Johnny or Lucas because both of them had insatiable appetites) when he heard it again.

 

The wail that was so familiar to him yet sounded so foreign when used as an expression of terror. And like last time without even thinking of it he was running towards their shared room, stocking feet sliding on the tile floor, heedless of the danger that was running in socks on a slick floor. 

 

He flung the door open again like last time, careless enough though, to let it whack the side of the wall which only caused the tiny pile of pyjamas and blankets that was Donghyuck to jump, which, in turn, caused Mark to mentally kick himself and then, just like last time, climb on the bed next to him and gather him in his arms.

 

And just like before Donghyuck cried himself out and then fell asleep, but this time, when Mark went to move to his own bed Donghyuck whimpered in his sleep, ( _ causing Mark to have almost immediate and silent heart failure _ ) Donghyuck had wrapped his arms around his waist, therefore rendering Mark speechless. 

 

After a moment, when he’d gathered what was left of his brain cells, he slowly slid down on the bed next to Donghyuck and let him curl up, not unlike a cat, next to him, his arm draped over Marks chest, their legs tangled together. And in that moment Mark didn’t care that he was still sticky from practice or that they were only 2 weeks away from their comeback and still didn’t have the demo down perfectly or that his arm was slowly falling asleep where Donghyuck was laying on it, he just focused on the feeling of his childhood crush and first love, in his arms.

He was pretty sure he could have died right there and been happy.

 

The nightmares weren’t over, and Mark knew it was scratching the surface of a much bigger thing but at least he was there, and he had Donghyuck in his arms, and in that moment. That was all that mattered.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks to this beta'er @goat_s hope yall enjoyed my First fic EVER. (that i've finished) this song title is taken from Nightmares by All Time Low, I literally wrote the basis of this fic at 12:30 am because I couldn't get the song out of my head.  
> come talk to me on twt @moonshine_twt


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